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Backstage Memoir


Today's story takes place in the year 2014, when I still did theater performances over in Germany. There were numerous other theater companies in operation that were established in each base around the country. There was Ramstein, Kaiserslautern, Kleber-Kaserne, Vogelweh, Baumholder, and many more. I mostly did shows in Kleber-Kaserne, but today's comes from Baumholder. Baumholder was a rather huge base on top of a huge hill. Literally, all the roads were just a series of "ups and downs". Anyway, when you eventually got past those "barriers" you got into base. There were houses established as well as government buildings. Then if you explored a little bit around, you would find a Burger King. Right next to it would be the theater, or well, would HAVE BEEN the theater. It was called The Hilltop. Unfortunately, due to budget cuts, the theater had closed in the recent years. Shame. I had so many amazing shows there with such a wonderful community. I actually owe one of my Topper winnings (yea, I actually got my goal) to the Hilltop.

This show was right next to my favorite, which is "Seussical": it was "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory". Performed in the same year, "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" was about the classic story of a young, poor boy finding a golden ticket and competing against 5 other children for the chance of winning Mr. Wonka's special prize, while also getting a tour of the most famous chocolate factory in the world. Well, that's a basic summary of it from my perspective. I loved this movie as a kid, so I was very eager and excited to audition for this show. However, amidst the audition process, my family and I noticed something that wasn't going to stand out too well. Apparently, over the last few years, I grew at least 2 feet. I was very tall, and if taken into account, it wouldn't look to good for "Charlie Bucket" to be taller than Willy Wonka. Nevertheless I still auditioned. Now, what part did you think I received? I clearly won so that is saying that I still got into the show. But what part do you think I got? What else was there? Lets go through them. First, there was background, minor roles, and moving on to more bigger roles, there was "Mike TV". I didn't get that role either. Should be all of them right? Wrong! There's one boy missing. Oh yeah! Augustus Gloop....I'm not kidding. I somehow got the role of Augustus Gloop. You know, the fat, German kid who cant stop eating? For those of you who have seen me, you call tell from just a glance that I. AM. NOT. HIM. I'm practically all BONES. However, I did love to eat, but i didn't need to necessarily gain 200 pounds before opening night. So, in order to counter that made-up regiment, the director had me wear a specially-made fat suit and 4 layers of clothing. I honestly could not stop laughing the moment the director dramatically revealed that fat suit. I almost died on the floor. I did actually fall on the floor. To make it even better, my mother played my ACTUAL mother in the show, so she and I went all out. It was an incredible amount of fun.

Moving on, fast-forward to the last day of the show, we just had our performance adjudicated by the judges for Toppers and were still going strong with our heads held high. After I was pulled offstage by the "chocolate pipe", I took some time to relax and at least unbutton a few of my shirts because it was rather hot with the fat suit. Time went by and towards the middle of the show, when Verruca Salt took her fantastic exit off the stage, intermission began. Then 5 minutes in, I heard rumors from some of the cast members that one of our background wasn't feeling too well. Apparently, this was one of my friends. I don't want to give out his name but if he is reading this then he knows who he is. We did a lot of shows together in the past and went to the same school so I knew him pretty well. Anyway, the so-called rumors were about my friend having thoughts about killing himself. I immediately dropped what I was doing and raced to find him. I was so incredibly worried, so I searched every single place backstage. Eventually, I found him hiding in a corner in one of the corridors backstage. He looked terrible, and he saw the exhaustion on my face. He told me to go away and leave him alone and I swiftly told him "No!" Then I asked if the rumors were true and he confirmed it. This made me even more scared. I had to know why. With nothing being held back, I continued asking him why he felt that way, but not after telling him my feelings. This helped open him up. He eventually told me why he wanted to kill himself. His family, more importantly his sister, went backstage to talk to him. Now, family members who are not a part of the show are NOT ALLOWED backstage. After having this rule ingrained in me for many years, I became enraged as did a few others. Pretty much what his sister told him that he was worthless and he should go kill himself for having shown a pathetic performance. I was absolutely shocked and told him that his sisters words didn't matter. He didn't listen to that. Then, the tears came as I remembered the times we had. I breathed in and I told him how much of an amazing friend he is to me. He even taught me a few things about theater so I owe him. He was such a talented actor at this time so I highly disagreed with his sister. In fact, I wanted to yell at her. My face was stained with continuous tears and they didn't stop until after 15 minutes, exactly when intermission ended. Then he started to chuckle saying that what he said was a joke, but I knew it wasn't. I almost wanted to hit him, but instead I hugged him and said that even though it was a joke don't scare the people who care so much about you like that. My heart was opened to him, no walls or anything. It was a very emotional moment. He then looked at me and told me "that I cared too much". I laughed and said that it was the kind of person I was. The atmosphere after that lightened up almost immediately and one of the cast members was looking for him because he had to go onstage. He quickly dried off his tears, thanked me, and went back onstage, and I had a feeling that he felt way better than he did 15 minutes ago. He told me after the show to not talk to his sister or his family because it was his problem, so as much as I wanted to help, I obliged his request. After that day, he became a better person with even more confidence in himself. I really wonder how he is doing.

So, today's "words of wisdom" is to "break down your walls". Its hard to do, opening ourselves up like that. Some consider it unhealthy, that it makes people naive to our surroundings. I think its the opposite of that. I think that opening our hearts leads us to being better human beings. That it is what we were all meant to have, to express to the world, instead of hiding it away forever.


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